The Algorithm Doesn’t Care if You’re Not Okay

We like to think communication is about connection.

But scroll through your feed — any feed — and you’ll notice something else:
We’ve designed communication systems that perform empathy without ever needing to feel it.

And nowhere is that clearer than in the way we talk (or don’t talk) about mental health.

Clarity Over Ambiguity. Always.

Let’s be honest. Emotional clarity is the currency of modern platforms.

If you want engagement, you need a message.
A point. A twist. A well-crafted moment of reflection that ends with a personal brand flourish.

Even our “vulnerable” posts come with polished takeaways.

But what about the moments that don’t come with clarity?

The ones that sound like:

• “I’m not sure what this is yet.”
• “I’m struggling, and there’s no angle.”
• “This is messy.”

That’s where the system fails us.

Because ambiguity doesn’t convert.
Silence doesn’t scale.
And confusion doesn’t trend.

AI Can Simulate Support — but Only in Style

Enter: the rise of AI tools in our emotional expression.

ChatGPT can draft your apology post.
Claude can write a “checking in” email with just enough warmth.
Grammarly can make your tone sound “empathetic.”

But what these tools really optimize for is not care.
It’s tone. Grammar. Likability. Consistency.

You can now simulate vulnerability without ever actually being vulnerable.

You can sound like someone who talks about mental health — without ever confronting your own.

That’s not innovation. That’s emotional ghostwriting.

The Unspoken Pressure: Be Strong, Be Clear

This is not just a “men don’t talk about feelings” piece.

But it’s also not not that.

Men — particularly those in leadership, media, or strategy roles — are often socialized to communicate for impact, not introspection.

We reward the ones who:

• Nail the message.
• Stay composed under fire.
• Turn hardship into digestible lessons.

But the thing about real emotion?
It doesn’t come pre-digested.
It’s inconvenient. Unmarketable. Unshareable.

So silence becomes the default.

Our Communication Culture Is Still Too Clean

We live in an era that loves the appearance of openness.

Corporate wellness statements. Instagram check-ins. Campaigns for mental health “awareness.”

But awareness isn’t the same as allowance.

We are aware.
But we don’t always allow people to say: “I’m not okay and I don’t have a spin on it.”

We know the scripts.
We just don’t know how to listen off-script.

So What Now?

Let’s not pretend this is about writing better captions or posting more raw selfies.

The real work is upstream:

• Rethinking the norms of strategic communication.
• Questioning who gets to be emotional in public — and how.
• Redesigning media education to include expressive uncertainty, not just messaging precision.

Because if AI is now handling our tone and our structure, the only thing left that’s truly ours… is honesty.

And if the system keeps punishing that?

Maybe the system’s broken.

June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month
Let’s build media systems that don’t just talk about care — but make room for the uncomfortable, unpolished, unoptimized parts of being human.

You can also check out the companion episode of FUNK!T, my podcast on media, culture, and AI, where I unpack this tension in more depth.